Resentment: A Red Flag for Enmeshment

At our recent community Gathering – Finding Autonomy in the Face of Enmeshment, one participant shared something that landed so powerfully it’s been echoing in my mind ever since:

“When I feel resentment, I know I’m enmeshed.”

It was one of those moments where the whole room seemed to pause, nod, and breathe a quiet “yes.”

I resonated deeply because resentment is something I can feel and notice easily. It’s not subtle for me, because it has distinct emotional heaviness. It can put me in a state of feeling “off,” like I am waking up on the wrong side of the bed and perpetually “agitated.” That makes it an excellent indicator that I’m taking on over-responsibility or moving out of integrity with my own needs.

What Resentment Is Trying to Tell Us

Resentment often gets a bad reputation. We see it as a sign of failure in our relationships, a flaw in our character, or proof we’re not “aligned” or “spiritual enough.”  But resentment isn’t a character flaw, it’s a natural emotional response, and it’s a red flag.

Resentment says: “You are carrying something that isn’t yours.”

When I feel it, I know I am over-burdened with responsibilities and blaming myself, or my energy is likely enmeshed with someone else’s. It becomes clear if my attention, concern, or sense of responsibility has shifted away from my own space and onto theirs.

It often happens without my awareness, and usually with good intentions.

I want to help. I want to make sure things turn out well. But underneath, there’s usually a belief that I need to step in because they won’t handle it or it’s my job to make it right.

Why This Matters in HigherCx

In HigherCx, we test for enmeshment because it’s one of the biggest, often invisible obstacles to healing. If your energy is blended with someone else’s, whether a person, group, or even a global event, your system isn’t fully resourced for your own healing.

Testing for enmeshment tells us if the client is “present as only themselves.” If they’re not, we restore energetic sovereignty first. Because without it, the changes we make in a session may not hold, they’re being pulled into someone else’s energetic current.

Resentment is one of the clearest day-to-day clues that you may need to reclaim your energy.

A Real Life Example of Enmeshment

I remember a time when someone close to me was resisting a decision I was sure would be good for them. I was thinking about it constantly, replaying conversations, and trying to strategize how to “get through” to them.

When they didn’t follow my suggestions, I felt frustrated… then sad… then resentful. That was my red flag. I realized I was carrying their outcome as if it were mine to hold. My body felt heavy, my mind was looping, and my heart was far from peace.

I stepped back, took a breath, and asked myself:

• Is this mine to carry?

• Do I trust them to navigate their own path?

• Do I trust life to take care of this?
  

From that place of awareness, I spoke my clearing statement aloud:

“I am responsible for me. You are responsible for you. I take back all of my energy for myself.”

The shift was immediate. Not because the situation changed, but because I had awareness and I came back to myself.

(I am forever grateful for learning about Self-Responsibility in Touch For Health class, because it awakened these tools in my life.)

Journaling Prompts for You

If resentment shows up in your life, it might be a valuable teacher. Try reflecting on these questions:

1. Where in my life am I feeling resentment right now?

2. What responsibilities am I carrying that may not actually belong to me?

3. What fear, belief, or habit is keeping me from letting go?

4. What would trusting this person -or life -look like?

5. What is one clearing statement I can speak today to reclaim my energy?

A Final Thought

Resentment isn’t a problem, it's an indicator. It's proof your system is telling you something. It’s a state you are in for a reason. It’s a signal to pause, reassess, and return to your own energetic sovereignty.

The next time it shows up, try meeting it with curiosity instead of judgment. Ask the questions. Notice what’s yours and what’s not. And remember, you have the power to shift states and come home to yourself.

---

If this topic resonated with you, we invite you to join us for an upcoming Gathering, a space to explore these conversations in community and practice the tools that support energetic clarity and alignment. If you’d like more personal guidance, a private session with one of our facilitators can help you identify and clear what’s keeping you out of balance so you can return fully to yourself. We invite you to explore more about the work we’re doing with HigherCx, including our research study on long COVID and persistent recovery states. For more information visit ZenbrioHouse.com

Sara McRae | Creator of HigherCx™ Wellness practitioner, teacher of Touch for Health, and guide for recovery from Long COVID, trauma, and the Void State.

Exploring resilience, energy, and conscious integration.